tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488686875010203312024-03-14T06:47:44.841-07:00Volunteering w/ St. Vincent de Paul -- RyanUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-55734199175278733442009-07-22T13:31:00.000-07:002009-07-29T09:34:20.642-07:00It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWomZJmZuhOyYY7L01DHbp3DNq5P8hupnWxfPXJ1Fk4LqigjDbclMn0S-b_eVetJihxOwYU1F2zC4y3Yuu8jur0p4OtEEHZyE5pwG5fh_YwVJnKf2EY5w8IGrtIrKcHuzSbUkdLh3Lhpc/s1600-h/Oakland.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361387264261325250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWomZJmZuhOyYY7L01DHbp3DNq5P8hupnWxfPXJ1Fk4LqigjDbclMn0S-b_eVetJihxOwYU1F2zC4y3Yuu8jur0p4OtEEHZyE5pwG5fh_YwVJnKf2EY5w8IGrtIrKcHuzSbUkdLh3Lhpc/s400/Oakland.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><div>I went to see poet Saul Williams perform when I was in college and he touched on the subject of writer’s block. Essentially his take was that it doesn’t exist, or shouldn’t exist, in the sense that writing should come from experience and that you will write when you are ready.<br /><br />Well, this has been one hell of a year--I swam in Lake Tahoe, watched a sunset in Santa Cruz, biked across The Golden Gate Bridge, burnt to a crisp on Venice Beach and watched on television as people rioted down my street to name a few things. However, all things, good and bad, must eventually come to an end and after a few days in Napa at the JVC dis-orientation retreat I am ready to say goodbye to the blog.<br /><br />It seems like only yesterday I was driving down US-101 to Aptos, California ready to meet 70 other volunteers. I don’t think any of us had a clue of what we were getting ourselves into.<br /><br />We hung out at retreat for five days talking about the values of JVC and getting to know one another. We would talk about our job placements and I would tell people I was working at a homeless facility and pretend like I was confident and ready for the challenge, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.<br /><br />The thought of working with the homeless scared me. Last summer I went to visit friends in Chicago a few weeks before JVC started and we were standing outside of a restaurant on a Monday night in Wrigleyville, the place was pretty dead and a couple of homeless men came up and started talking to us. One man was a Native American named Brian Blue Cloud, and he started doing a drunken rain dance for us and singing Billy Joel songs. It was funny for a little while. His friend came over and seemed pleasant enough at first, but then as the conversation continued things started to get a little more awkward. They started asking us for money and Brian Blue Cloud’s friend demanded we buy him beer and made a thinly veiled threat of violence. We walked away without any altercation, but it was still an uncomfortable situation that left me on edge.<br /><br />That fear didn’t diminish when I walked into the men’s center for the first time, either. I saw a group of guys I had little in common with. Thoughts of mental illness, drug abuse and felonies raced through my head.<br /><br />Slowly but surely my feelings changed. We shared conversations of politics and sports over cups of coffee, watched movies and laughed. They showered, did their laundry and on occasion I was able to give them bus passes, shelter referrals and help them with their legal matters.<br /><br />My clients morphed from a homogenous population into actual human beings with names, hobbies, interests, families, funny stories, past lives and aspirations for the future.<br /><br />A few weeks ago, while walking home I was stressing out about life after JVC when I spotted a couple of my favorite clients. I was stopped at a crosswalk and they were on the other side of the street. They waited for me to cross and we talked for a few minutes, and mid-way through the conversation, mood completely lifted, I realized that they were no longer my just my clients, they were also my friends.<br /><br />I don’t mean to romanticize working with the homeless. It is difficult. It is challenging. It is tiring. But it has also been one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. I will always remember and be grateful for the lessons of honesty, dignity and living in the present moment that I have been fortunate enough to witness.<br /><br />To end, I want to thank SVdP and everyone I’ve worked with for making this year possible. Also, I want to thank all of the amazing, talented, committed and inspiring JV's I’ve met who’ve made the experience as fun and meaningful as it’s been. Finally, I want to thank my family for their love and support--you guys are amazing.<br /><br />One last thought for the year: To paraphrase St. Ignatius of Loyola, “Go forth and set the world on fire, just try not to burn down Oakland.” </div></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-37664198367238650122009-07-02T14:21:00.000-07:002009-07-02T14:34:56.789-07:00Fourth of JulyI was sitting around yesterday thinking--contemplating the meaning of life--and while I didn’t have an epiphany about man’s purpose on earth, I did decide that if I were to create a new and perfect holiday it would be complete with fireworks, hot dogs, burgers, Budweiser and most importantly, a healthy heaping of freedom! Then I realized that I'd just described the Fourth of July. Oh boy, did I feel foolish...<br /><br /><br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Majhk865Za4&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Majhk865Za4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-88961936996647477282009-06-23T14:27:00.000-07:002009-06-23T14:31:47.566-07:00The Way I See It.My Jesuit Volunteer year is quickly coming to an end, and it’s both hard to believe and something I’m truly looking forward to. I’ve made really good friends and had some great experiences, but I’m ready to move forward and see what the next chapter holds.<br /><br />I don’t have any clearer picture of what I want to do with my life than when I arrived in California last August, but one thing I’ve definitely seen this year is the value of commitment.<br /><br />A few weeks ago I was at Starbucks and my tall cup of black coffee had on it “The Way I See It #76”:<br /><br />"The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." - Anne Morriss<br /><br />The exciting part of the JV year is long gone—moving out to California, meeting other recent college grads, finding your own definition of the words “social justice,” becoming comfortable working with homeless clients—that was the exciting part. Right now for most JV’s their jobs are second-nature, they are tired of not making money and the truth of the matter is that it’d probably be more beneficial to go wait tables or find any other job.<br /><br />But few, if any, will take the easy route. This is the part of the year that is truly a test. It is a test of your ability to live in the present moment, to give your best when you would rather be elsewhere and your commitment to serve marginalized populations.<br /><br />That is the thing about social justice—it’s not always front page news. Actually, it’s rarely news at all. The headlines: “Man Needs Shower,” “Man Needs Cup of Coffee,” “Man Needs Referral to Overnight Shelter,” are not glitzy or attention grabbing. No, they are only true.<br /><br />Change is slow and it takes a renewed commitment each day to serve your clients with dignity and patience, optimism and compassion without worry of outcome. And maybe, as I’ve experienced this year, you’ll see an old client on the street and he’ll be dressed nicely and thank you for your help. Or, as often happens, most clients will simply disappear from your life without a good-bye, and that’s okay too.Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-26873657288187102562009-06-12T13:15:00.000-07:002009-06-12T13:32:35.302-07:00Stories, Freedom and a Picture of Lake Merritt.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyUUjEBDlwwgaxmqLND1tlW3VM-dKv9x9LU4Q2QsOrljkYlAinHaQrY2TsCDc05m7RmA95_1oU5J8DLOK6BXDPsT8p92aNZ7cXHyLmBxA42qtr94flKQx4_A2iP4MPi7dp0O_5NqcOyA/s1600-h/Oakland.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5346538077388588914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyUUjEBDlwwgaxmqLND1tlW3VM-dKv9x9LU4Q2QsOrljkYlAinHaQrY2TsCDc05m7RmA95_1oU5J8DLOK6BXDPsT8p92aNZ7cXHyLmBxA42qtr94flKQx4_A2iP4MPi7dp0O_5NqcOyA/s400/Oakland.jpg" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-size:78%;">Photo by </span><a class="currentContextLink" id="contextLink_stream24162742@N05" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jag72/"><span style="font-size:78%;">José Antonio Galloso</span></a><br /><br /><br /><div>On Thursday over 60 people came to St. Vincent de Paul to meet with the Public Defender and prepare for the upcoming Homeless Court that will be held next Friday in our community center. Due to the difficulties of reaching our clients, many of whom only have voice-mail boxes they check infrequently or phones that oscillate in and out of service, it would be nearly impossible to set up appointment times. So instead, we have everyone show up a little before 9:30 with a first-come, first-served policy. At best you could describe the situation as controlled-chaos--more accurately though, it was mostly just chaos. But really, as a whole all of the clients were extremely patient, understanding and excited to be part of the program.<br /><br />Last night before bed, I opened up <em>The Best American Short Stories 2008</em> edited by Salman Rushdie and in the introduction he wrote: “…The freedom to tell each other the stories of ourselves, to retell the stories of our culture and beliefs, is profoundly connected to the larger subject of freedom itself…”<br /><br />That quotation reminded me of my clients who show tremendous strength in addressing their legal matters. We have them write a letter to the judge and document their personal progress, growth and achievements, which the court accepts in lieu of a financial payment.<br /><br />Essentially, they are telling their own stories, many of which involve job loss, drug abuse, failed marriages and countless other peaks and valleys. For many people, these stories would be too painful and embarrassing, but as I’ve seen throughout this year, our clients refuse to indulge in false pride and they are better for it. It’s clear that the process of addressing their problems--refusing to hide in the shadows and watch their lives spin out of control--is incredibly liberating in a way that someone such as myself who doesn’t live in the margins of society, can ever fully comprehend.</div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-52718507757720697252009-05-27T21:03:00.000-07:002009-05-28T12:14:57.746-07:00The Dance of Life.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZX2bxd0POlDPSrcVcWZyPr6znE1g2MWJtltnKB0QL9ZlKS40c6I8Kc3MqxBVGgtkGE5UkvCAXHkMYBinXyhEdpPjTxKtYBLhKaD7TgTzBkRuAFrMbEOLTi00Um_Er0Xnqj_CfkN5a0gE/s1600-h/IMG_0266.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340720868790830482" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZX2bxd0POlDPSrcVcWZyPr6znE1g2MWJtltnKB0QL9ZlKS40c6I8Kc3MqxBVGgtkGE5UkvCAXHkMYBinXyhEdpPjTxKtYBLhKaD7TgTzBkRuAFrMbEOLTi00Um_Er0Xnqj_CfkN5a0gE/s400/IMG_0266.JPG" border="0" /></a>The chapel at the Jesuit Retreat Center.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhma2_Tfhya3hytnWPvqaG1kpjmCqEvn_WrAflmmkZvsAyOyQrNAMTNeCrxZEKbtghQO4T2wCuvuj33CGBBRKFa6PvN-YLB90Ua9rrQ6zL1H78NzuLf4ZzNdozlFTx5jWQk79uJ_pcRwdE/s1600-h/IMG_0274.JPG"><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340720865513387346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 307px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhma2_Tfhya3hytnWPvqaG1kpjmCqEvn_WrAflmmkZvsAyOyQrNAMTNeCrxZEKbtghQO4T2wCuvuj33CGBBRKFa6PvN-YLB90Ua9rrQ6zL1H78NzuLf4ZzNdozlFTx5jWQk79uJ_pcRwdE/s400/IMG_0274.JPG" border="0" /></a>I was reminded to stop and smell the roses. <div><br /></div><div><!--StartFragment--><p class="MsoNormal">To be alone with your thoughts for the better part of four days is an experience every person should have at one time in their life.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">At the beginning of the retreat we all met with our spiritual directors. My spiritual director, S.J. Tom Weston, asked me how I was feeling and if I needed a break from work. I told him I went home the week prior and was feeling pretty refreshed, but about three hours later, with my window open and a nice breeze passing through the room, I was out cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Aside from sleeping, and eating ridiculously good food, I spent much of my silent time reading a compilation of Henri Nouwen’s writings called <span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-STYLE: italic">The Dance of Life</span>, which spoke to me in a way few books ever have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The passage that stuck with me the most was: “When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Part of the retreat included a peace vigil where the staff put out journals we could write down our thoughts on peace and the JV year as a whole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They also put out the journals from the prior years, and it was interesting to see how similar the entries were from year to year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There was always a funny guy, cynical guy, some girl taking herself way too seriously, but mostly there was a deep appreciation for the triumphs, struggles and conflicts they had endured throughout the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thought about the journals while I was reading more Nouwen and I recognized that the universal epiphany of this year is that “in solitude we discover that our life is not a possession but a gift to be shared.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We leave the comforts of family and friends at home and move to neighborhoods rougher and more impoverished than most of us have ever lived in, and instead of accepting fear and despair we attempt to find hope and dare to bring light where there is darkness.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">As I’ve mentioned before, it’s easy to wonder if there’s any point, to question whether change will ever come, but I think the lesson I’ve taken away from this experience is that joy and sadness are not mutually exclusive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There are days when I’m biking to work and I have a million thoughts and worries running through my mind and I forget to stop and appreciate a crisp morning or blue sky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This was the case the other day when I was running late, still half-asleep when I looked at the park across from St. Vincent and saw one of our clients blasting music on his boom-box and busting a move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I watched him for a while longer, here was this man who has so little, wonders where he’ll get his next meal, where he’ll sleep, and yet he’s still able to find so much joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The dance of life doesn’t begin when poverty, mental illness, rampant substance abuse and violence is eradicated--it is here and now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>To witness all that is wrong with the world juxtaposed with genuine laughter and untainted pleasure can only be explained through grace--in a word, it’s divine.<o:p></o:p></p><!--EndFragment--></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-58554284752968525312009-05-15T14:27:00.000-07:002009-05-15T14:47:04.257-07:00Silence, please...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGq7wBhZqwoQ2QT74auOSWJIRwYU1gOtmiafhooiATKYLOnlXWzns00KFs4wNZ_c9yXRYhtE2sKqTY86HuE9pnmh2pZ-B9tJkFbucRuF6oafmC1-O46Xv5RU0kt4fm772GTzKmk1QcrY/s1600-h/jesuit+retreat+center.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336170212290927170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 101px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGq7wBhZqwoQ2QT74auOSWJIRwYU1gOtmiafhooiATKYLOnlXWzns00KFs4wNZ_c9yXRYhtE2sKqTY86HuE9pnmh2pZ-B9tJkFbucRuF6oafmC1-O46Xv5RU0kt4fm772GTzKmk1QcrY/s400/jesuit+retreat+center.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBLZfF8fxu0grxLrs_KAGWbf01cgBjsOUKwA8Z9RPTKH9ChEfiQxBI4qAPog8obXM7n-uLTboCEG8oGGlNRBix95eRyiZhM4fpBqcFNAuapRLwZS0Yzb9CVOHh99mmxa8B1sbfDnaQjo/s1600-h/Fingers.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336165849035033490" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 252px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBLZfF8fxu0grxLrs_KAGWbf01cgBjsOUKwA8Z9RPTKH9ChEfiQxBI4qAPog8obXM7n-uLTboCEG8oGGlNRBix95eRyiZhM4fpBqcFNAuapRLwZS0Yzb9CVOHh99mmxa8B1sbfDnaQjo/s400/Fingers.jpg" border="0" /></a> The excitement of dollar dogs--it's hard to contain.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336165845701388418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEDvrakI60k3k9nupE0nh5PWLIuDbny0ezvj7VQn_RiTDuWw-muDatS0gz4vAehhsclSQdaFFAmGFVaBcndc26g0XFpIHdh72uCzFXRGoT1CnxSY8sLTNaNMD9Nv9Sdds7uTjkZrWvwOs/s400/Dollar+Dogs.jpg" border="0" />Hello! I thought I’d drop a line before I head to silent retreat on Monday for four days--this is definitely another reality check that the year is coming to close. The retreat is held in Los Altos at a Jesuit retreat center that is supposed to be very scenic and I hear the food is buffet style and delicious, so I’m looking forward to that and some time to read a few books and relax.<br /><br />Not too much else is new around here. On Wednesday night I went to the Oakland Coliseum for the first time and saw the Oakland A’s beat the Kansas City Royals 7-2. It was also dollar hot dog night, unfortunately I’d already eaten dinner, so I only ate a couple, otherwise I think I’d be good for about a dozen—I guess that’s something I can look forward to next time.<br /><br />Also this weekend is the much ballyhooed Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco where people wear wacky costumes and pull around wacky floats and have a real wacky time! So yeah, that should be fun… </div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div>"When you become aware of silence, immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present. You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective human conditioning."<br />-Eckhart Tolle<br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-78048703322970832572009-05-04T13:54:00.000-07:002009-05-04T14:10:33.757-07:00Ladies and Gentlemen...Guest Cartoonist Brett ForemanHere's a little current events humor from our talented culinary student services coordinator Brett Foreman. Enjoy.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6nvj06ZBLmd-FFm1sjA-DP4Dav_Tecw7Ad6QASkzM8LXHaxg5Iv09sBRJf38LNCPORpkn4itL78HhDZkUcfWZKSk9G_u6Ir_PO_w2XpfXCO82N3cP3h89NGEZO2DOQpYxIB-dbB1yq9c/s1600-h/swine+flu.BMP"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332075383842282834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 217px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6nvj06ZBLmd-FFm1sjA-DP4Dav_Tecw7Ad6QASkzM8LXHaxg5Iv09sBRJf38LNCPORpkn4itL78HhDZkUcfWZKSk9G_u6Ir_PO_w2XpfXCO82N3cP3h89NGEZO2DOQpYxIB-dbB1yq9c/s400/swine+flu.BMP" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-19715002173406135842009-04-30T17:31:00.000-07:002009-04-30T17:37:35.811-07:00Spring.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuwwy4tpgYaRCn2rjPCnvwkCtka8hp1sewk9CtHjEXGRnyLf7PwrulRxL3j_00EEqZoIYtHeiaO-AOzwZocq6iaNbRI3_BvHc6JXVZAH5q096qWsisEzdyHPbfepYuVt4wsYrcrEkwSI/s1600-h/Stinson+Beach.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVuwwy4tpgYaRCn2rjPCnvwkCtka8hp1sewk9CtHjEXGRnyLf7PwrulRxL3j_00EEqZoIYtHeiaO-AOzwZocq6iaNbRI3_BvHc6JXVZAH5q096qWsisEzdyHPbfepYuVt4wsYrcrEkwSI/s400/Stinson+Beach.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330648103415569586" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Once again, sorry I haven’t written in a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I guess I haven’t had a lot on my mind lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe I should buy a hat...I said maybe I should buy a hat!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Am I right?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that we have that knee-slapper out of the way, not too much is new around here, but I’m back and feeling refreshed after taking a few days off while my family visited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We were able to explore a bit of San Francisco and I showed them around Oakland and my apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We also went to Muir Woods and Stinson beach, which were both lovely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The place we rented had a hot tub and I was reminded why people work real jobs--big props to my pops who does not volunteer his time.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s hard to believe how much of this year has passed, but it’s been great to get some nice spring weather in the bay area in recent weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m starting to get excited about the year coming to an end, but I’m also a little nervous, as I don’t have a job lined up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Like most of this year, not making any real money to speak of, it’s been a challenge to live in the present moment and trust that good things are ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But I’ve tried for so long, why stop now?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Along the same lines, maybe it’s just my imagination, or merely a couple isolated incidents, but I feel like people in Oakland have been a little pricklier than normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And by “pricklier,” I mean that they’ve been giving me the middle finger and cursing at me lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My personal theory is that all of the talk in the media about the recession and unemployment puts people in a foul mood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Whether that’s true I’m not sure, but it’s the theory that allows me to take it less personally.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The past two times I’ve taken a mid-day stroll to Starbucks I’ve had people ask me for money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I politely declined both times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The first time I was with two other people walking past Taco Bell and we told the man we didn’t have any money but that he should check out the free dining room at St. Vincent de Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That only served to infuriate the man and he started shouting obscenities at us as we walked away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Though, I guess I can understand--sometimes you really need a Chalupa and nothing else will do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The other time I was walking back from Starbucks another man asked if I had any money and I said I didn’t, but this time the man didn’t even pause to let me tell him about the SVdP dining room before he launched into a mini-diatribe laced with a few choice racial slurs.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Also, a few weeks ago as I pulled off the highway and was stopped at a red light on Jackson St. when a man pulled up beside me, and decided to flip me the bird, apparently I hadn’t given him the proper amount of room to maneuver past me and make a right turn.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Oh wait, I did give him the proper amount of room, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to pull beside me and flip me the bird.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I won’t attempt to weave these stories into some sort of metaphor about social justice or any commentary on the state of Oakland.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I will only say that the next time you have the urge to curse at someone who won’t buy you a taco, or maybe another frustrating situation of greater significance, you should take a deep breath or two and maybe the world will be a better place.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now for some SVdP news, I’d like to give a big blog shout out to my fellow volunteer, miss Lorelei Alvarez, who recently received funding for her graduate studies in social work at UC Berkeley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Also, I’d like to say congrats on her two-year anniversary with her boyfriend Carlos--I give him two thumbs up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What’s that I hear?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Oh yeah, the distinct sound of wedding bells!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-86731402796806145902009-04-17T13:39:00.000-07:002009-04-17T14:55:42.142-07:00Forty Acres and a Mule.It’s been a while since I’ve written. At certain times this year I’ve felt like I’ve had a lot to say and at other times I’ve needed to sit back and wait for the bigger picture to emerge.<br /><br />The other week I went and visited another JV in Sacramento on my day off and we went to her agency, also a homeless drop-in facility. I was helping hand out tickets for their dining room when I recognized a familiar face--it was a client at St. Vincent de Paul who hadn’t been around in a couple of months.<br /><br />The man--in his late 50s with graying dreadlocks--let out a guttural laugh and said, “Hey, boy!” as he often called me. “You move up here, too?”<br /><br />“I’m just visiting for the day,” I said.<br /><br />“Well you should. There’s nothing but trouble in Oakland,” he said. I nodded my head in agreement. We talked a little more and he asked, “You still got <em>the book</em>?”<br /><br /><em>The book</em> is <em>Forty Acres and a Mule</em>. It’s missing its cover, it’s water damaged and I think it was taken from the Oakland Library at some point. While I was managing the men’s center there was hardly a day he wouldn’t pop into my office and talk about the book. For the most part I’d just nod and smile, but I always enjoyed hearing him talk about it. He’d tell me about how he was going to head down to Louisiana and homestead himself up a little farm complete with cows, chickens and horses. He’d say things like, “You think I’m going to end up like the rest of these dopes? Nope, I’m going to get me some land. You better believe I’m going to get me some land.”<br /><br />“Still got it,” I said as I handed him his lunch ticket.<br /><br />His eyes lit up and he said, “Yeah, that’s right. I’m still going to do it, boy. I’m going to get a big ol’ place in Louisiana and I’ll let you help me farm it.<br /><br />“That’s a deal,” I said.<br /><br />Later in the afternoon he came back to the counter I was working at and asked to get change for a dollar so he could use the vending machine. I gave him ten dimes in return and he left sixty cents on the counter so I could buy myself a soda. I told him I was okay, but he insisted that I take the money whether I wanted something to drink or not. “Boy,” he said, walking away, “these pockets are full of money.”<br /><br />I felt bad taking his money. I wasn’t quite sure what I should do, but I didn’t want to belittle his generosity so I went over and inserted the sixty cents into the machine and drank a soda while I talked with my former client a little longer.<br /><br />After not seeing the man for a couple of months, I have to admit I secretly hoped he'd really moved to Louisiana and was hoeing up some craggy piece of swamp land. But mostly I was happy to know he was doing okay.<br /><br />In reality, I’m fairly certain he never will homestead a piece of land in Louisiana or anywhere else. Though, maybe the dream or fantasy of setting up a little rural farm is the glimmer of hope that gets him by each day, and if that’s the case, I hope he never stops believing it’s possible.<br /><br />Later on in the day after the homeless facility in Sacramento had shut down we were walking back to the JV house and along the way I spotted the man again. He was slouched on a bench, sort of staring off into the distance at nothing in particular. When he was living in Oakland I saw him around town a couple of times, and like many of our clients I see outside of St. Vincent de Paul, he never had quite the same smile, and he seemed lost in the world, lacking the confidence, or maybe bravado is a more apt description, that he exuded while in the men’s center.<br /><br />We’d snagged a bunch of Girl Scout cookies from the homeless facility’s warehouse, so I jay-walked across the street and gave him a box of Samoas. He thanked me, but once again he seemed unsure of himself, demeanor completely changed. I told him it was nice seeing him again and that maybe I’d be back later on in the year. He simply nodded and forced a bit of a smile.<br /><br />It was a reminder of the barriers that exist between “us and them” and how difficult it is to create lasting change. But I thought about it for a while, and maybe that’s okay. Perhaps making one man’s world a little better, slightly more bearable, for one day, or one hour, or even one minute is enough.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />“The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive.” -Thich Nhat HanhRyan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-31845041354070436832009-04-08T21:46:00.000-07:002009-04-08T22:30:52.725-07:00Taking a look at Oakland.<div>I decided that it might be fun to upload a few pics of my neighborhood. Enjoy.</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltkrghRZDiKScewWWi3fOj9eAjY3UL39FL2xQBBBfKacHBzil19hMWVQA_p0qZSHT3LZkFnkoi1F6wVr-eqLiD68TyP3IpBVeE8IBrvvANO5pb7IjsD31bxTzFeYzpHz60epXJflzZk8/s1600-h/IMG_0204.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltkrghRZDiKScewWWi3fOj9eAjY3UL39FL2xQBBBfKacHBzil19hMWVQA_p0qZSHT3LZkFnkoi1F6wVr-eqLiD68TyP3IpBVeE8IBrvvANO5pb7IjsD31bxTzFeYzpHz60epXJflzZk8/s400/IMG_0204.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322558581398920706" /></a><br /><div>Here's the McDonald's next to my apartment. Nothing quite like a double cheeseburger and McFlurry after a long week.</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L3L1-0fgu-1avj-O-F1g7Wx9aoSMU4oVXTayuT8uYJS19ZvRS_VfXRjwlcM6TRhtsfG7lSrgAIs0rXKfmHSe_465YnM4HekUmF6GqNnb6I4BL1ma6l9zuuStI8sMeIgeUyar2nmp7ck/s1600-h/IMG_0196.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9L3L1-0fgu-1avj-O-F1g7Wx9aoSMU4oVXTayuT8uYJS19ZvRS_VfXRjwlcM6TRhtsfG7lSrgAIs0rXKfmHSe_465YnM4HekUmF6GqNnb6I4BL1ma6l9zuuStI8sMeIgeUyar2nmp7ck/s400/IMG_0196.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322555708237895378" /></a><div>Here are some ducks hanging out at Lake Merritt, a popular spot for walking, running and even rowing.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oqB_729tu-B_h8jfCJ664g6qoRCgh_GwhSGOh2zi-BtaKFY7s3SIFl3BeU10an793V296WG64ix1WpEScZzA6HNuKOJxnu-P0iqZN6FyKti_5iwBqDei2fYSuxaxwsbLt6YpAUoee_E/s1600-h/IMG_0185.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oqB_729tu-B_h8jfCJ664g6qoRCgh_GwhSGOh2zi-BtaKFY7s3SIFl3BeU10an793V296WG64ix1WpEScZzA6HNuKOJxnu-P0iqZN6FyKti_5iwBqDei2fYSuxaxwsbLt6YpAUoee_E/s400/IMG_0185.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322555700745521586" /></a></div><div>If you look closely that's a young couple pushing a stroller down my street. What is this, Berkeley???<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgDzZDJXHFWPf4W7mGDcQj3a-TwGMf1pDy4NhjzRgdzNXDzPceUzsiEqj2jhJFeujCz1iFD0nsc6mowbbiKw3tKeyVd2Eh0HSsZ5QyEgiYVCxbtFcv-Xiav_dquG6BSSGkp50cKETXVFc/s1600-h/IMG_0194.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgDzZDJXHFWPf4W7mGDcQj3a-TwGMf1pDy4NhjzRgdzNXDzPceUzsiEqj2jhJFeujCz1iFD0nsc6mowbbiKw3tKeyVd2Eh0HSsZ5QyEgiYVCxbtFcv-Xiav_dquG6BSSGkp50cKETXVFc/s400/IMG_0194.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322555298341962530" /></a></div><div>This is a picture of the court house in downtown Oakland.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCXknAwEz5BpO02-d_FGkEstiAakmIUgoMyxVD_6uqzsCxE16FXWYwqw2KT5mmECMjQSHCzG3Nc5oexBvlr4n_ouYh4ej_FoPKy1pyppFzFr12o94v6Erohrj1kQNqMcFDLKzz8M2BCpY/s1600-h/IMG_0201.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCXknAwEz5BpO02-d_FGkEstiAakmIUgoMyxVD_6uqzsCxE16FXWYwqw2KT5mmECMjQSHCzG3Nc5oexBvlr4n_ouYh4ej_FoPKy1pyppFzFr12o94v6Erohrj1kQNqMcFDLKzz8M2BCpY/s400/IMG_0201.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322555297756843298" /></a></div><div>This is a street sign and I like sepia. No other significance.</div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFizFL9RYKQbMc6H9foc4wFHPkryCUW1JbqyDmWdOoI6I1o7L73WN3dUClSEOd_34WntoAwzzo7H1ZYIOffDjTbq8icZ0qVKmaj1Ue4KbhJtThEoF80wMM-pVNvmaK6SMdPls_Bqpdrig/s1600-h/IMG_0191.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFizFL9RYKQbMc6H9foc4wFHPkryCUW1JbqyDmWdOoI6I1o7L73WN3dUClSEOd_34WntoAwzzo7H1ZYIOffDjTbq8icZ0qVKmaj1Ue4KbhJtThEoF80wMM-pVNvmaK6SMdPls_Bqpdrig/s400/IMG_0191.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322554952141633906" /></a></div><div>This is The Ruby Room--best bar in Oakland. Red lighting and cheap drinks. Enough said.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHv4HM1TVB4fvAAZIg5GZdH-2BOs-syZ8RD2xcR9qM0t8HXP5kWKOEbvhUeMgqVIHGCbc98h0wj3-7mvRVpTvqj9876h8gCyEKzd-l_Ca-uVBK-PgcFkdijxpP9wLKE2ni1jqqm7uYds/s1600-h/IMG_0188.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 295px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifHv4HM1TVB4fvAAZIg5GZdH-2BOs-syZ8RD2xcR9qM0t8HXP5kWKOEbvhUeMgqVIHGCbc98h0wj3-7mvRVpTvqj9876h8gCyEKzd-l_Ca-uVBK-PgcFkdijxpP9wLKE2ni1jqqm7uYds/s400/IMG_0188.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322554714394824866" /></a></div><div>The Oakland Public Library. A great spot for broke JV's.<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span><div><br /></div></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-64267224113625154792009-03-24T17:48:00.000-07:002009-03-24T22:25:05.417-07:00More Violence in Oakland.For the second time this year violence in Oakland has made <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/23/us/23oakland.html?ref=todayspaper">national news</a>. Last Saturday, after a routine traffic stop three officers were shot and killed along with a fourth later declared brain-dead.<br /><br />In the words of Yogi Berra: it’s like déjà vu all over again. There is a definite pattern in Oakland where something tragic occurs and the Mayor, Ron Dellums, or another leader talks about the need for change.<br /><br />"In these moments, words are extraordinarily inadequate," Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums told reporters at a news conference Saturday night at Oakland police headquarters. "We come together in shock, in grief, in sadness and sorrow. Our hearts go out to the officers' families who are experiencing a level of tragedy that goes beyond our ability to comprehend."<br /><br />"These folks leave their homes in the morning, with every expectation of returning," Dellums said, "but they did not."<br /><br />Several of the articles touched on the fact that there’s a <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/03/23/MNDR16L705.DTL">growing sense of hopelessness</a>. People are aware that change is necessary—it’s the buzzword that sold millions of Obama t-shirts—but like all hollow rhetoric, it’s starting to lose its meaning.<br /><br />I don’t know what needs to be done, either. I don’t think anyone does. I look around at all of the empty buildings in Oakland and wonder if there’s any realistic solution. Even the Tribune building, with its neon red sign that shines brightest above Downtown Oakland, is boarded up.<br /><br />Last Thursday I watched an episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon, Tina Fey’s character, is dating a guy who has an inflated sense of self due to everyone around him catering to his every need and letting him win because he happens to be really good-looking. They refer to this as “living in the bubble.” Liz also falls into thie trap, but eventually she realizes she can’t continue to be dishonest with this guy. After pointing out several of his shortcomings, the guy becomes extremely frustrated and throws a fit. Eventually he apologizes to Liz and tells her she should come and live in the bubble with him. He confesses to Liz that it’s ironic how much he hated life outside of the bubble. Liz points out that it’s not ironic at all. He laughs and says that he likes the bubble because he can use word ironic however he pleases.<br /><br />While I was watching that episode the signal kept coming in and out as a helicopter flew atop our apartment building. It turned out that a small convenience store about two blocks from our apartment was held up at gunpoint. The clerk and two customers were shot, but managed to tackle and subdue one of the gunmen.<br /><br />That’s a little closer than I like my violence to occur.<br /><br />It made me think of other bubbles in our lives, and one of those is distance, both physical and emotional, from the problems of the most marginalized in society.<br /><br />One of the JVC houses is located in Berkeley, but they don’t work in Berkeley, most of them work in Oakland. Nothing against the people in that house and the work they do, but in some ways it seems to go against everything that JVC stands for. With that said, when I go over to Berkeley and I see college students, young couples pushing baby strollers, and old hippies in their diesel Mercedes, and a slew of Priuses parked along Shattuck Avenue outside of nice restaurants, I’m a little jealous. I’m able to let my guard down and relax.<br /><br />I grew up in the suburbs, love the suburbs and will probably someday move back to the suburbs. However, I think it’s important to be aware of the luxuries and privileges we are afforded and often take for granted. When you watch the news and it becomes too graphic and violent you can change the channel, but when it happens down the street it’s harder to ignore.<br /><br />At several points throughout this year living in Oakland has really started to annoy me and I've felt trapped, but at those times I’ve been able to get away, whether it’s been for a retreat or a visit to another JV house. Though, I’m now starting to see the value in getting even a small sense of what it’s like for those who can’t escape the culture of violence and crime that pervades Oakland.<br /><br /><br /><br />“Home is not where you live but where they understand you."<div>-Christian Morgenstern</div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-44432454414930255742009-03-13T13:25:00.000-07:002009-03-13T14:45:26.405-07:00B-i-n-g-oYesterday, I decided to sit in on the Thursday Bingo in the visitation center which is starting to draw a pretty good-sized crowd. Each week they pop popcorn and have a table of prizes ranging from soaps and lotions to dolls, underwear and razors. It’s fun to see how intense the competition gets for all of these fairly inexpensive prizes. My favorite winner was the guy who picked out a pair of pink slippers for his “lady.” After thinking about it for a little while, I realized it’s not about the prizes, but rather, it’s about a sense of accomplishment they receive from winning.<br /><br />It made me think about the need to strike the delicate balance between necessary handouts and the ultimate goal of helping clients become self-sufficient. The clients as a whole at SVdP are certainly appreciative of the services they receive, but the pride and gratitude they have after helping themselves is on an entirely different level. It can be seen at the graduation for our transitional employees and the kitchen of champions. It can also be seen in the men’s center with the guys who like to earn their keep by sweeping up the floors or emptying the trash.<br /><br />I guess the desire to be valued and capable is basic human nature. This week a guy who went through the December Homeless Court came in to thank me for my help and to let me know he’d recently found a job. It was a brief conversation, but it was genuine and true, and exactly what I needed to hear. Just when I start to question whether I’m doing any good at all, something like that seems to happen where I’m reminded that the work we do is indeed worthwhile.<br /><br /><br /><br />"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert SchweitzerRyan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-66074953304114524152009-03-06T13:49:00.000-08:002009-03-06T14:37:19.793-08:00March MadnessToday, six days into the month, I finally realized that it’s March, which of course signifies the arrival of everyone’s favorite season—no, not Lent—March Madness!<br /><br />I think this is the surest proof that JVC, or at least the lack of money for cable, has had a significant impact on me. And while maybe I’m not “ruined,” there’s a good chance my bracket will be. Actually that’s probably not true, since the tournament no longer seems to have any rhyme or reason and picking winners based on mascots or uniform colors seems to be about as equally effective. Never the less, I normally pride myself on making informed selections, having usually watched at least one game from nearly every school in the dance, even the play-in game. I’m a junkie--my drug of choice is college basketball, that and the occasional highball.<br /><br />Aside from the lack of cable, I’ve tuned out of this year’s college basketball season in part because my Hoosiers, with first-year coach Tom Crean, are in the midst of a historically bad year, currently sitting at 6-23. Though, we have a good recruiting class coming in, so I think we should be respectable next year and start to seriously compete in another year or two after that. And to all the haters, unless you’re Kentucky or UCLA we still have more championship banners hanging from the rafters (’40, 53, ’76, ’81, ’87). You might point out that it’s been over twenty years since we last won, and if you do the math you’ll realize that the vast majority of guys in this year’s tournament weren’t even born in 1987, but those are minor details…<br /><br />I assume most of you (the four people who read this blog and aren’t related to me) are unaware of the events that led to this year’s disastrous season. Well, back in the year 2006 IU decided to hire a man by the name of Kelvin Sampson, who was already in trouble at his old school, Oklahoma, for making too many phone calls to recruits, but we hired him anyway. He promised that he’d follow the NCAA rules and do things the right way. To make a long story short, he brought in one NBA lottery-pick, a bunch of junior college thugs and a few other questionable recruits and also continued to make phone calls with reckless abandon.<br /><br />Sampson knew how to coach, and his teams were relatively enjoyable to watch. Before he was forced to resign during last year’s season, the team cracked the top ten in rankings and was poised to capture a Big Ten championship, though there was always a nagging sense that we were doing things the wrong way. But despite it all, I continued to support Sampson and the team, because when it comes to sporting endeavors it’s always more fun to win than lose.<br /><br />It’s not as if I supported Hitler and the Nazi party, but the two or three year ordeal has been a reminder and lesson in how easy it is to justify behavior that deep down you know is wrong.<br /><br />I think there are many issues, especially related to social justice, where it’s easy to fall into similar thought patterns. It’s easier to say, “I’d never do drugs,” “they deserve to be homeless,” or “I’d never let my tickets spiral out of control,” than it is to address the root causes of the problems and the legal and social barriers that exist. That work is difficult, arduous, met with resistance and often painful. But at the end of the day, it’s the right thing to do and there is a certain reward in that alone.<br /><br />Likewise, this season has been dreadful for the Hoosiers when judged by wins and losses, but not everything can be measured using results. Our team has been battered and bruised nearly beyond recognition, but they hustle and play with pride and our basketball program finally has its heart back, and in my opinion that counts for an awful lot.Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-38724029271084405682009-02-25T12:44:00.000-08:002009-02-27T13:43:53.561-08:00Ash WednesdayIt has been a little while since I last wrote a blog. I think I’m running out of things to say, perhaps hitting the proverbial wall, which is probably natural in February at the midpoint of the JVC year.<br /><br />This year so far has been simultaneously a blessing and a struggle filled with ups and downs. At times it’s easy for me to walk the streets of Oakland and wonder how things could be any worse and question whether I’m making any difference at all. This year hasn’t necessarily filled me with great optimism that things in Oakland will improve any time soon, but last Friday’s Homeless Court session held here at SVdP was a reaffirmation that my work here is meaningful. The thing I especially like about Homeless Court is that Judge Gordon Baranco isn’t looking for a grand apology or clients to grovel, only that they exhibit progress and a sincere understanding that it’s a one time chance to move forward with a clean slate.<br /><br />As always my favorite part of the process is witnessing the spectrum of reactions the clients have after their charges and fines are dismissed, it ranges from one woman who fought back tears as she hugged her two-year-old son to the 21-year-old guy whose grin stretched from ear-to-ear as he bragged to me that his $5,000 in fines dismissed had been the most of anyone all day.<br /><br /><br />“You are dust, and to dust you shall return.”Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-12910270152448457852009-02-13T14:25:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:29:32.506-08:00Another week at SVdP.This week has been cold and a little wet and I’ve felt slightly under the weather, so I’ll keep this post short.<br /><br />Yesterday we had over 40 participants in the Homeless Court come to St. Vincent de Paul to meet with public defender Diane Bellas in preparation for court this coming Friday. Essentially everyone was told to show up at 9:30 in the morning and it was a first come first serve process, so for some it was a very long day of waiting. But in general, all of the clients were extremely patient and thankful to be a part of the program. It was also a great chance to talk with the clients and hear their stories. Many told me about their past jail experiences, drug addiction, divorces, children and what ultimately led many of them to recovery and made them want to turn their lives around. I’ve written about it before, but I continue to be struck by the honesty that many of our clients exhibit when talking about their problems and struggles. I will admit that I’m still shocked by some of the things they tell me, but I’m always impressed with their truth and dignity, which are qualities we should all strive for.<br /><br />This afternoon there was another graduation for the latest class of culinary students and transitional employees. It was great to see what the students had accomplished and to sample some of the delicious food they made for the final project, but I really had trouble believing that another six weeks had passed. This year is starting to pick up steam. <br /><br />And now it’s time for a much needed three-day weekend…Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-64899765769079435322009-02-06T12:41:00.000-08:002009-02-06T13:07:32.749-08:00Boom!The serenity of retreat quickly came to a halt on Tuesday night after work when I decided to go for a jog around Lake Merritt. I put on shorts, a t-shirt, running shoes and had my iPod cued up, unfortunately I only made it about two-hundred feet to the parking lot before I noticed that one of my car windows had been smashed. It probably happened the night before--I recall hearing a sound very similar to my car alarm at around 11:30 that night, but I’m not for sure.<br /><br />Obviously, a broken car window is fairly minor, and not anything to waste too much energy on, but none the less it was still enough to make me feel violated.<br /><br />A week or so earlier our support people came over for dinner and we talked about the protests and riots in Oakland, and basically what one of them said is that the recent events hadn’t been a good thing, but that they proved we were working in the right area—a place that needs an infusion of young, educated people willing to work for change. I whole-heartedly agreed. But it’s always easier to witness poverty, injustice, crime, etc. from a distance, even a relatively close distance, than it is when it happens to you.<br /><br />After cleaning up the glass from inside the car, and calling up my parents to figure out what I should do about insurance and getting it fixed, I talked to the Berkeley JVC house to see if I could drive it over there and crash for the night. They of course said I could, so I put a toothbrush in my backpack and grabbed my sleeping bag and hopped in the car only to discover that the car battery was drained as well. When it’s not your day, it’s not your day. <br /><br />I headed back inside, ready to kick or punch something, but then I took a deep breath and I knocked on our neighbor’s door and she was generous enough to give me a jump and I headed to Berkeley where one of their neighbors let me park my car in their driveway. We ended up talking and had some tea and put on a movie, making the night about as pleasant as it could’ve been. <br /><br />I took the car over to get fixed early Wednesday morning and I should have it back this afternoon, but I’ll be honest, on Tuesday night I felt like throwing in the towel and getting the heck out of Oakland. I’ll be honest again, I still kind of feel that way. But after a bit of time to calm down, I realized that it was an event that could’ve occurred anywhere and that I shouldn’t catastrophize the situation. Also, as much of this year has been, it was a reminder of how lucky I am to have a family and friends that care.<br /><br /><br />“Teach us to give and not to count the cost” -St. Ignatius of LoyolaRyan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-27999489283544041822009-02-03T15:09:00.000-08:002009-02-03T15:22:24.795-08:00Back from retreat.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHO3bRdIzwHvCdWRpU91ZGqsNiCv6DhBhLghzQSmM0bvpK8BMKsj3lnB_7dhyyoD62-3eZFUZe6LNR8ucV3H8huzhgd8LkXGA3O3O64t5oeLsa7NSpsCffFj-ICHt3FWIoxTamaQZ9HI/s1600-h/IMG_0142.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298715346458270562" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHO3bRdIzwHvCdWRpU91ZGqsNiCv6DhBhLghzQSmM0bvpK8BMKsj3lnB_7dhyyoD62-3eZFUZe6LNR8ucV3H8huzhgd8LkXGA3O3O64t5oeLsa7NSpsCffFj-ICHt3FWIoxTamaQZ9HI/s320/IMG_0142.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hVFB6-MCNsxZN9nyxoHgWVaeB4C2fPD40h6fZKwYl7KCF57WVNRRUyZmpDLcQNoA5SvzbVGKXlYI-5Qz40eOSBGERsRhyphenhyphenj3-Ym9pVcn54KBEgNlMopmxWI9Jsalcdty9w4-XKLo_YWE/s1600-h/IMG_0148.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298714715448143570" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hVFB6-MCNsxZN9nyxoHgWVaeB4C2fPD40h6fZKwYl7KCF57WVNRRUyZmpDLcQNoA5SvzbVGKXlYI-5Qz40eOSBGERsRhyphenhyphenj3-Ym9pVcn54KBEgNlMopmxWI9Jsalcdty9w4-XKLo_YWE/s320/IMG_0148.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ipDux2aDZmLcoptNCa_SKrJcOBJ9qewPXPFeecJ9vYDh1GZi80eRyo-5rKw7FINLOxw6nQtMD6EFp07kn8c9WSZyEk3X-3hOztQKHgm_bv7_9rpDgkG8zaSReijcMaQNcaNN2p8oHls/s1600-h/IMG_0140.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298713635821948210" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 210px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ipDux2aDZmLcoptNCa_SKrJcOBJ9qewPXPFeecJ9vYDh1GZi80eRyo-5rKw7FINLOxw6nQtMD6EFp07kn8c9WSZyEk3X-3hOztQKHgm_bv7_9rpDgkG8zaSReijcMaQNcaNN2p8oHls/s320/IMG_0140.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>I just got back to work today after spending parts of four days down at Camp St. Francis in Aptos. The camp was located right beside the beach, and there was a basketball hoop and a bunch of the guys organized a little tackle football game, which I’m still sore from. It was also a nice chance to relax and do a little reading. Unlike when we were there in August, the weather was clear the entire time, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more spectacular sunset. Few things in life put things in perspective the way the Pacific Ocean can.<br /><br />JVC brought in University of San Francisco professor Mike Duffy. He gave three talks on Catholic social thought. He was a really inspiring guy who has done tons immersion trips and work in the City as well as in third world nations, but what I especially liked was when he talked about how each person has to define for themselves their own meaning of social justice, that it’s a long an arduous process and that you have to take time out for yourself so you don’t burnout in one month, or six months or one year. The quote he used several times was from St. Ignatius of Loyola: “Go forth and set the world on fire.” And then he asked us all to contemplate what that would look like in our own lives.</div></div></div>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-52080559876739206672009-01-22T14:14:00.000-08:002009-01-22T14:18:43.297-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlZO9y2UiJr8zhXlGgN0EAIg4EBA9FApLgeQxDUNXtE_L5yW2tkYn_60nLoJFuX8YiqQDqKlMja7oC6-Co6WSYRXp4kWwBMgmpfAXzWPQ6de94P96pEv82v2o0Akg_amAt-S-wfD8yasc/s1600-h/ryan+kayaking.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294245864217700930" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 182px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlZO9y2UiJr8zhXlGgN0EAIg4EBA9FApLgeQxDUNXtE_L5yW2tkYn_60nLoJFuX8YiqQDqKlMja7oC6-Co6WSYRXp4kWwBMgmpfAXzWPQ6de94P96pEv82v2o0Akg_amAt-S-wfD8yasc/s320/ryan+kayaking.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>On MLK day one of my roommates and I headed over to Jack London Square and rented kayaks. We paddled for about an hour and made it a good distance down the inlet, but not all the way out to the bay. The shore is lined with cranes, tug boats and huge cargo ships and several sailboats and a ferry whizzed by us as we slowly fought our way against the current to get a good view of the bridge. It wasn't the most scenic adventure I've ever been on, but it was pretty cool to launch from a pier five minutes from the heart of downtown Oakland, and as I’ve always found paddling to be, it was extremely relaxing.<br /><br />Things here at St. Vincent de Paul are going well. On Tuesday the men’s center hooked up an antenna to the television and watched Barack Obama’s inauguration. I didn’t have time to watch all of it with them, but it was inspirational to see people from all walks of life engaged in the political process, which is clearly what Oakland and many places around the country desperately need.<br /><br />The deadline for submitting Homeless Court applications is approaching next week so things are busy around here. Also, next Friday I’ll be heading back down to Camp St. Francis in Aptos for the re-orientation retreat, which will hopefully be a good time. There's a beach and a basketball court, so I assume I'll manage. That is all...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><p> </p><p> </p>Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-4905815431147769932009-01-15T13:43:00.000-08:002009-01-15T13:52:11.042-08:00January Heat WaveNorthern California is currently in the midst of a heat wave. The word January feels awkward each time it rolls off of my Midwestern tongue, especially as temperatures reached into the mid-seventies this week. There’s already talk of drought and mandatory water restrictions as a result this summer, but until water stops coming out of our faucets I’ll continue to enjoy the great weather!<br /><br /><br />Last night there was another protest held for the BART shooting death of 22-year-old Oscar Grant. This one included a march from city hall down 14th street to the courthouse and back. It was better organized and a lot less chaotic than last week’s, but still resulted in some minor vandalism as crowds dispersed. One news station showed a guy smashing the windows of a Radio Shack with his skateboard, and down the street a dozen or so guys kicked in the windows of a Wells Fargo…in related news: I bought an iPod for a great price this morning from some dude on the corner of Broadway.<br /><br />I thought Mayor Ron Dellums made a good point when he said something to the effect that there can’t be selective outrage when it comes to violence in Oakland. As tragic and sensational as Grant’s death was, there are 120 murders a year in a city with a population just over 400,000—there should be outrage over every single one. The passion and intensity that was seen at last night’s protest needs to be seen on a daily basis when it comes to education, employment, gang violence, drugs and the multitude of other problems that Oakland faces. But the truth is, those problems are less exciting, progress is harder to track, and the streets won’t be lined with cops in riot gear while four or five news choppers hover above. If the people at the protests aren’t interested in those issues as well, then the last two weeks amount to little more than a whole lot of rubbernecking.Ryan Wanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16218717009946162436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-67447843276525507012009-01-08T13:34:00.000-08:002009-01-08T13:36:29.239-08:00Social JusticeIn the early hours of New Year’s Day a 22-year-old male was shot and killed by a BART police officer. It’s especially disturbing that multiple people captured the entire incident on video and it appears that the shooting was completely unnecessary. With little progress in the investigation and the police officer resigning from the force instead of meeting with investigators, protesters took to the streets last night.<br /><br />At around eight o’clock we flipped on the news and they were giving an update on the situation, we noticed that everything was happening just a few blocks away from our apartment. A few minutes later there were fire engines, and cop cars streaming down our street and we could hear people shouting and at least four or five helicopters hovered above downtown for the majority of the night. In all, several dumpsters were lit on fire, storefronts smashed, cars damaged and over 100 protesters eventually arrested.<br /><br />As I biked to work this morning I rode over more than a little shattered glass, there were still several helicopters in the area and there appeared to be more trash in the street than normal.<br /><br />There was a quote that struck me in a CNN.com article from an anonymous woman who said: "We live a life of fear, and we want them to be afraid tonight."<br /><br />Social justice is one of the four tenets of JVC, and it’s clear that many in the Oakland community do not feel that all groups are receiving fair and impartial treatment. It’s also a reminder of how large the schism still is between the police and many urban communities. Working at St. Vincent de Paul it’s easy to see that progress needs to be made in a myriad of areas in Oakland, but for those who don’t see the problems on a daily basis it’s easy to ignore. However, when one incident, a horrific one mind you, is enough to cause the type of chaos that was seen last night, it’s tough for anyone to turn a blind eye.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-57305183921551866782009-01-07T14:49:00.000-08:002009-01-07T14:50:19.201-08:00Happy New Year!After spending Christmas home in Colorado, and New Year’s Eve in the city, a visit to the San Jose JV house and a couple of days spent on the couch watching college football bowl games, I am indeed back to work.<br /><br />It felt good to wake up at a decent hour and ride my bike to work. It was especially nice to see everyone again and get back into a routine. Also, my Monday homeless court orientation was well-attended, my voicemail inbox was full and the guys in the men’s center were excited to see me, which was a nice start to my week.<br /><br />Last night, for the second time this week I was the only one of my housemates who made it past 9:30, and I think that’s only because I took a nap after work. There is a slight chance we all have mono, but mostly I think it’s a combination of our drafty apartment, cold weather and the sun still setting early. For me at least, there’s a sense that this whole JVC thing is no longer a crazy adventure in California, but rather, it’s our real lives for the next eight months. Those in JVC who are applying to grad schools have finished up their applications and some have already heard back, and those looking for jobs are starting to realize that August, like the mythical year 2000, will eventually come. It’s an oxymoronic test in planning for the future, while living in the present moment and making the most of our remaining time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-14161768272606393152008-12-25T13:36:00.000-08:002008-12-25T13:42:41.073-08:00Merry Christmas from Colorado!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii96ClVB1J4CoXMVlEcXAlxRFlOZgX7OEl_n-SBRMgdAWCuyL3kD6roFowonzIzj6uLAGfdRzM7u-sPqxTzJT1Rnf15Aa0laQS01rfOlCh4RhHm0pJ1MkJXtUQnxfLQuMmAf0eSUuY2sg/s1600-h/IMG_0097.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii96ClVB1J4CoXMVlEcXAlxRFlOZgX7OEl_n-SBRMgdAWCuyL3kD6roFowonzIzj6uLAGfdRzM7u-sPqxTzJT1Rnf15Aa0laQS01rfOlCh4RhHm0pJ1MkJXtUQnxfLQuMmAf0eSUuY2sg/s320/IMG_0097.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283845887519557234" /> </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-48966804264399480322008-12-18T13:21:00.000-08:002008-12-18T13:23:41.052-08:00I made it...to ChristmasHo! Ho! Ho!<br /><br />With Christmas approaching and cold weather hitting the bay area, things have been busy here at St. Vincent de Paul. <br /><br />The women’s center has been busy giving away stacks and stacks of clothes and toys to families in need. Like many of the services provided at SVdP, I have been impressed with the honesty, dignity and gratitude that the clients have displayed.<br /><br />The transition at the men’s center has been going well. A few of the guys weren’t too pleased to see a new guy running the center at first, but after realizing the new guy was now the one handing out bus tickets, razors, toothbrushes and that the hours would be extended, they seemed to adjust pretty quickly.<br /><br />I looked over some of my first blog posts the other day, and though they’re only four months old, it felt like they had been written a very, very long time ago. The phrase that former JV’s always use when talking about the program is “ruined for life.” I’m not sure what that actually means, but all in all I don’t think I’ve changed a huge amount thus far. It’s been interesting, and a growing process as I’ve become comfortable working with the homeless, but I don’t think it’s transformed me, and definitely hasn’t ruined me. <br /><br />I’m excited to head home this Saturday for 10 days to see my family, meet up with a few friends, go skiing and eat some good food. Though, the thing I’m looking forward to most is getting away from my roommates. Don’t get me wrong, they are all good people with the exception of maybe two or three of them (that’s funny because there are only three of them!), but a break is definitely needed. <br /><br />This year has made me appreciate my family and friends more than ever before. Living on a small stipend this year has allowed me to see that lack of money is just one obstacle the homeless face. I’ve seen that we can provide clothes, food, job training and help with shelter, but the one thing we can’t give out—the greatest gift of all--is a network of supportive and loving family and friends.<br /><br /><br /><br />“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'” -Dave BarryUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-7237641850981863802008-12-12T13:01:00.000-08:002008-12-12T13:12:20.001-08:00Another Friday Blog.After submitting applications for the December Homeless and Caring court, I finally heard back this week from the council with the list of clients they accepted. As always there were a few clients that didn't make the cut—most were understanding but a few were bit perturbed. A client came in last week to check whether he'd been accepted, I hadn't heard back but I told him I thought things looked good and that'd I'd give him a call when I received the list. He didn't have a telephone number, so I told him to check back before he went to the meeting with the public defender on Thursday. Probably through some fault of mine, he went to Hayward for the meeting with the public defender without checking in again and ended up waiting for three or four hours before he found out he wasn't on their list.<br /><br />This morning he came in to see me, and as you'd probably expect, he was fairly frustrated. I let him know what he could do to improve his chances of being accepted for the next court date, but he still wasn't happy. He asked me why I was ruining his life. I told him that I was neither a public defender nor a judge, and that I didn't have anything to do with the final decision. I gave him the number of the person in charge of the homeless court and he used the phone in the men's center to call, but there was no answer and he was convinced there was some sort of conspiracy against him. I apologized for not being able to do more, but he just stared me down as I explained the next steps in the process, and then after thirty seconds or so he asked why I was looking at him "funny" and dropped a few other expletive-laced comments before leaving.<br /><br />It's slightly disheartening to have something like that happen, but I guess it comes with the territory when dealing with a volatile population. A minute later, one of the guys knocked on my office door and asked jokingly if the coast was clear, and like that it was on to the next problem. And it's not that I didn't care about the last guy, it's simply that there are always way too many current problems to get bogged down with past failures and situations that you can no longer affect.<br /><br />In other news, my time as interim men’s center director came to an end today. I will still be spending plenty of time out in the center, but on Monday there will be a new director. It will free me up to be less of the father-figure and more of the kooky uncle who comes in and plays card games.<br /><br />Being in charge of the men’s center has been a really good learning experience. At first it was somewhat intimidating, and there have been more than a few unruly and disgruntled clients, and they’ll steal your toothpaste, deodorant and just about anything else of value, but in general the guys who frequent the men’s center have all been really nice and respectful. The main thing I’ve found in dealing with the guys is that you have to be honest and direct and willing to genuinely listen, but I suppose that’s true of all people and populations.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148868687501020331.post-56704481672707626872008-12-05T09:57:00.000-08:002008-12-05T10:00:59.329-08:00ThankscoffeeFor the most part I’ve given up coffee in favor of herbal tea after watching my morning cup of coffee each day turn into an entire pot. Though last Friday, with nothing to do after spending an entire afternoon watching college football, I hopped on my bike and headed to the Starbucks on Lakeshore Avenue.<br /><br />I found an empty table next to the window to nurse a cup of coffee and write. The sun was setting, the sky a dark, but luminescent shade of gray. I had forgotten to throw my iPod in my backpack, so I was forced to listen to the Christmas music that played on the stereo, which turned out to be fairly pleasant.<br /><br />Several people typed away on their laptops, others sank into the upholstered chairs and pored over a newspaper, two tables played chess while several others gathered around to watch and converse.<br /> <br />I sat and thought, <em>this</em> is what Oakland needs. <em>This</em> was the Oakland I fell in love with when I moved here in August. The lake, China Town, the temperate weather, proximity to San Francisco, the amusing hipsters with their bikes, tattoos and mustaches, the Catholic church with a gospel choir. There is a lot to love.<br /><br />But, then after a little while, it’s easier to look at all of Oakland’s shortcomings. The homeless are everywhere and the entire downtown is practically boarded up. You wonder how it happened, and maybe that’s not important, but the question of how things will ever change is important. It’s never going to be easy, but especially with the current economy, the task of turning things around seems especially daunting.<br /><br />I took another sip of coffee, the caffeine really kicking in, and thought about the prior week and my first Thanksgiving away from my family. Near dinner-time with several other JV’s I was admittedly a bit depressed, but after a couple heaping plates of turkey and all the fixings and some pie and a couple of beers I felt a lot better. It was, as people who annoy the heck out of me often say, “excessive in typical American fashion.” Exactly the way it should be, in my opinion.<br /><br />I think that it’s often hard for people to find that balance between excess and guilt and somewhere in that equation is also sanity. There are always going to be people in need, but at a certain point you have to take time out for yourself without feeling bad about it. This is especially true in an area like Oakland where poverty pervades. Perhaps, that’s the kind of moderate thinking that will never change the world, but I really enjoy green bean casserole and pumpkin pie, I guess...<br /><br />On my second cup of coffee, thoroughly buzzed, I thought about The Awaken Café in Oakland. The café’s first meaning is obviously a place to wake up, and the second meaning is the cultural and economic awakening that Oakland needs. I wondered if maybe I should’ve been down there, by the homeless men and boarded up store-fronts, but instead I was down near the hills on Lakeshore Avenue across from Trader Joe’s and down from The Gap.<br /><br />Too much caffeine--my own thoughts were irritating me.<br /><br />A couple next to me was talking loudly about Obama and Africa and God and an old hippie was sitting Indian-style with his Birkenstocks off. The sky was now completely black and I decided it was time to start biking home. I took a final sip, wiped up the table and headed for the exit as one last thought pin-balled through my head, the lesson I keep coming back to time and time again this year--acceptance.<br /><br />Great afternoon. Great cup of coffee. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0